It's my 3rd Valentine's Day dating Zach but this year I'm not WITH Zach. I always was one of the girls not going to a fancy dinner and receiving gifts and flowers on this day. And now I am back to just that but this time because we are forced into a long-distance relationship and not because I am single. Yea, we talked it out and are planning on exchanging Valentine's Day cards and celebrating my Birthday this weekend when we go to the North Carolina Mountains, but it just feels really different today.
It's as if I were confused. Everyone is celebrating the normal tradition of spending lots of money, getting stupid gifts, and eating a fancy meal with their loved one, and why am I not doing the same? I am spending the night like any other night with some friends from school having pizza and wine. Don't get me wrong, It's wonderful! It's a great night! I love being surrounded by friends in good spirits. But, is it really Valentine's? I have a "Valentine", don't I?
What is Valentine's anyway? I am stealing this from a childhood friend's facebook, but, supposively this day was deemed so in 496 AD by a Christian martyr names St. Valentine. He did so to have a day where one shows their love and affection to their significant other by showering them with affection and gifts. So, it wasn't all Hallmarks creation.
I find it peculiar that I expect to receive flowers on a day like today. A day where it's "expected" to recieve gifts? That should never be. Something is wrong. So much expectation on one day of the year and when that expectation is missed, I'm disappointed and feel confusion. But, it's not that I was actually "forgotten". We discussed it after all. But, why do I feel so confused? It's just that. I expected today. Just like every other girl. I expected flowers, and when they didn't come, I was disappointed. Thanks for rubbing it in my face St. Valentine!
Shouldn't Valentine's Day be treated just like any other day? And so, what would I normally recieve on a Tuesday? Good Morning texts, I love you texts, our daily phone or video chat, pictures of our puppy, memories of our life, reminders of whats to come. It's kind of crazy when I realize this really is the regular tuesday routine. Some people only get this attention on holidays like Valentine's Day, but I am so lucky to have someone who gives me this attention everyday. He devotes his day, thoughts, and feelings to me. What more could a girl ask of her love?
This realization that Zach treats everyday like Valentine's Day really is what has held me together, and what has stopped me from getting frustrated, bitter, or disappointed today. We are so far apart and will be for at least the next 2 months, but I am the luckiest girl in the world, and it will all be alright. So thanks again St. Valentine! I'm the Lucky girl who found a man after your own heart, who believes in treating everyday as a day to show his love and affection. I Love You Zachary!
